Beautiful, Courageous You

A Thousand Sleepless Nights


Blessings as raindrops


This is by far my favourite song at the moment; “Blessing’s” by Laura Story ,  I believe the trials of this life are His mercies in disguise, I have doubted His goodness, I have doubted His love and many times after I have shared my journey with others, they are perplexed that I choose to glorify God. They have questioned how can I still believe in God let alone trust in His goodness? They perceive that when I was trusting in Him, He let me down?!

I have grappled in my mind with these arguments for the past 5 years, ‘is God good? Does He love me? Why do bad things happen to good people?,  in fact why do bad things happen at all? Finally I grew tired of trying to figure it all out and made the choice to trust in His Word and trust that He is a God of Mercy and deep, deep Love for us. My healing has come through tears and a thousand sleepless nights were what it took to know He is near, my faith has been renewed and I have entered His rest.

I still have painful memories and even present day sorrowful situations, but I am learning to transcend them by pursuing the heart of God in prayer and reading the Word.  Proverbs 3:5-6 implores us to, “Trust in the Lord with all your heart, And lean not on your own understanding;6  In all your ways acknowledge Him, And He shall direct your paths”. Day and night I have meditated on this truth. Trusting in the Lord means, rather than blaming Him for what happens, rather than doubting His love for us, we relax and rest assured believe that our Heavenly Father has our life in the palm of His hand and never shall He loosen His grip, no never. x

Author: beautifulcourageousyou

About me hmmm... Happily married with two children, also the mum of three little ones in Heaven; twin girls and a baby boy. What matters most to me in life; Faith, Family & Fun! By God's Grace I have overcome extreme depression. As I share my journey with you I pray you will be inspired to live a life with vision and purpose, my passion is to offer hope to women young and old. I want to shout across the globe to every woman on the planet "you are Beautiful, you are Courageous" and you are outrageously loved!!

5 thoughts on “A Thousand Sleepless Nights

  1. There is always the assurance that we will be with our loved ones again in Heaven and being all we can be for those still with us guides us on too. My heart goes out to you with each post but it is also inspired by each one as well. Thank you for sharing.God bless you and yours.

  2. Lauralee, you are an awesome testimony of courageous faith and learning to trust God. I don’t think you know how much of an impact you have with those people who can’t understand how you could still trust God. It speaks volumes.

    I wanted to comment on one thing you said here…

    “Why do bad things happen to good people?, in fact why do bad things happen at all? Finally I grew tired of trying to figure it all out and made the choice to trust in His Word and trust that He is a God of Mercy and deep, deep Love for us. ”

    This is probably the biggest question most people have about God. But you answered it here. It’s because of His deep, deep love! I will probably talk about this on my blog sometime, but there’s a very faulty view by most people that God keeps meticulous control over everything that happens. And that everything is His will. Historically speaking, this came from Augustine, not God! For we cannot have love without freedom of choice. So God has given us the earth (Psalm 115:16), and there are now seven billion people affecting what happens–good or bad. Not to mention, malicious forces of evil in the spiritual world. Nonetheless, out of His deep, deep love, He works all things that do happen to us for our good if we will but trust Him. And this, in turn, brings comfort to others, as you have done.
    Blessings to you. 🙂

    • Okay so now I am lost for words… ‘a testimony of courageous faith’, thank you Mel! (whenever I feel like quitting this blog God lines up some encouragement 🙂 ). Please do do do write on this topic, the majority of my family & friends cannot fathom how I can still love & worship Jesus, my response is always ‘how can I not’! If it wasn’t for the hope I have in Him I certainly wouldn’t be here today. Yesss it is because of His deep love for us that He has given us freedom to choose ‘ oh what a love’! How’s the book going??

      • The book? Have a long way to go but it’s going in a good direction, I think. I’m really enjoying my time with God working on it. Thanks for asking. 🙂

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