Beautiful, Courageous You

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To Forgive THEM… Feels like death!

forgiveness

Recently, I implored a good friend of mine to forgive someone that had wronged her, betrayed her and still continues to stomp on her heart. Furiously she responded ‘that would feel like death to forgive him’!

Ahh yes to offer forgiveness upon our enemies would appear to be weak, backing down and death to our soul. In my experience it is this death that leads to a beautiful resurrection, my Bible assures me that in the Kingdom of God ‘to lose our life is to gain it’! How do we gain life? Extend forgiveness to our enemies.

Forgiveness will bring healing to your body and your broken heart, do your part and truly forgive them and God will do His part to help you heal from the emotional pain that has held you captive to the past. Like me, you may forgive a person but still have ill feeling towards him or her, the truth is you cannot truly forgive without the Holy Spirit’s help, no amount of self-determination or strong will can achieve complete love and forgiveness.

Our human nature is to be led by our feelings, some of my well-meaning friends retort, ‘be strong, don’t let him get away with that… it’s a dog eat dog world’, even at the mention of forgiveness! I readily admit that forgiveness is unfair. However, if we do not forgive we will become resentful, The word resentment literally means ‘to feel again’, as Philip Yancey, author of  What’s So Amazing About Grace, succinctly put it: “… resentment clings to the past, relives it over and over, picks each fresh scab so that the wound never heals”.

Despite what the world says, a strong courageous woman is a forgiving woman. Granting forgiveness doesn’t feel natural, but if we do not transcend nature, we remain in bondage to the past, held captive to the people we cannot forgive. Author and Pastor, Timothy Keller refers to the act of forgiveness , as feeling like a death initially but it is a death that leads to resurrection “Forgiveness must be granted before it can be felt, but it does come eventually. It leads to a new peace, a resurrection”. Although a most unnatural act, forgiveness offers a way out and as you choose to forgive, I assure you, faith will carry you beyond your feelings and by His spirit, God will give you the courage and strength to forgive your enemies, wish them well and let them go their way.

Who do you need to forgive? Release your grip on them today and you will be set free to soar high above the circumstances which have held you back for so long now. x


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He Restores My Soul

He restores my soul

Before we can heal the soul we must first understand what is the soul? God has created us as a triune being, we are spirit which has a soul and lives in a body. In pursuit of healing the soul it is most important to understand the soul consists of the mind (which includes the conscience), the will and the emotions.

The soul and the spirit are mysteriously tied together and make up what the Scriptures call the “heart.”  The writer of Proverbs declares, “ Keep your heart with all diligence, For out of it spring the issues of life.” (Prov. 4:23 NKJV). We see here that our “heart” is central to our will and emotions, * “ for out of it are the issues of life; of natural life: it is the seat of it, from whence all actions of life are derived; it is, as philosophers say, the first that lives, and the last that dies”.

 So in healing the soul we must watch with all diligence, guarding the heart from all that would cause the spring, the stream of life that proceeds from it, to be sealed up. Failure to guard the heart will leave our spirit and soul vulnerable to fear-based living, a heart where no life flows, a life personified as a ‘dead-man walking’ carrying a depressed heart.

Purpose in your heart to continue talking to God about how you are feeling, or simply praise Him for His promises, as you do this your soul will be renewed, or as my counsellor once put it ‘pray, God re-boot me to the manufacturers original default settings’. Think about this, if all the thoughts you’ve had up until this point has not made you feel any better, have another thought. As you pursue God He will eclipse your fears, broaden your horizons, change your perspective and you will have another thought, a thought which comes from His heart and you will begin to see yourself and your circumstances as He does… through eyes of faith, hope and love. Rejoice in this truth – now there’s a thought!

 

* Source: http://gill.biblecommenter.com/proverbs/4.htm


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I Forgive Him… I Forgive Him NOT!

SteadfastForgiveness… undeserved, unearned, you might say:  ‘well no one understands what they did to me, what was said about me’. From the Gospels’ accounts,  Jesus had every reason to be bitter, angry and unforgiving. Amidst brutal circumstances, He said, “Forgive them…”  betrayed, falsely accused, whipped, beaten and spat on he was then nailed to a cross by them.  As the crowd continued to taunt and curse him and His life slowly fading away He did not seek justice or vengeance.

Forgiveness, or I like to call it ‘absorbing the debt’,  refusing to make them pay for what they did, I believe, is the hardest and most courageous step towards healing and complete peace. On the subject of forgiveness Timothy Keller explains how by wanting to make the perpetrators suffer for what they have done will not give you peace “Cycles of reaction and retaliation can go on for years. Evil has been done to you – yes. But when you try to get payment through revenge the evil does not disappear. Instead it spreads, and it spreads most tragically of all into you and your own character”.

 It was only a few months ago when I sat in prayer and asked God, “Why am I not completely peaceful and why have you not given me joy like you promise in your word?, I am not moving from this chair until you heal me… completely!” I waited for an answer and started to reflect on all the steps I had taken towards getting well, countless counselling sessions, prayer, exercise, etc. As my mind wandered (still waiting for God to answer) I recalled the most hurtful moments of my past and thanked God for healing me from the emotional pain. Upon examining my feelings I realised the memories still affected me, not in a hurtful, saddening manner as they had for so many years. What was rising up in my spirit was anger, bitterness and  unforgiveness.

Needless to say, God had answered my demanding prayer by showing me that my final healing was to be found in letting go of the unforgiveness I held so tightly. Holding onto unforgiveness seemed to be my last chance at vengeance and justice to those that had wronged me. They didn’t deserve my forgiveness!

Crazy thing about a ‘payback’ mindset is the paying back seldom affects those who have wronged you. The unforgiving heart doesn’t heal, in fact bitterness and anger controlled me more and more as the years went by. Ask yourself, how does your holding onto unforgiveness work to hurt the other person? Does it really make you feel peace, joy…  a sense of true happiness?

The issue isn’t whether the person who hurt you deserves to be forgiven, forgiveness is a gift you give yourself.  In my experience the hurting one is the unforgiving soul, much like a snake bite if you were to be bitten (hurt by someone) the snake takes off into the bush and your left with the venom (un forgiveness) do you get the picture? The snake isn’t concerned about how much venom you have pumping through your veins, he’s gone about his life as if not much has changed. On the other hand if the anti-venom (forgiveness) is not administered to the victim of a snake bite her health will deteriorate rapidly and possibly become fatal.

The importance of forgiveness toward others is a matter which must be addressed if we are to experience peace, joy and happiness. Just as your spirit and soul will flourish when you offer forgiveness, so to your physical being will begin complete healing. Go ahead… just like the Psalmist cried out “Create in me a pure heart…” allow God to purify your heart towards others and in the words of our Saviour “Forgive them”. X