Beautiful, Courageous You


5 Comments

Shadow Boxing your Worry and Anxiety

kind fierce braveWriting for this blog has been elusive for the past few months, life’s like that sometimes… elusive, indefinable and mysterious. As life’s circumstances have flooded in I found myself swept away, adrift in a sea of worry and anxiety dumbfounded with not much to say about anything. There was the issue… I had nothing to say, instead I just let life’s blows back me into a corner feeling beaten and defeated.

I panicked ‘God no I can’t be depressed again’, ‘I have been healed, delivered and set free’, I affirmed myself… then I heard the Lord say ‘speak to your circumstances’! ‘The circumstances are your reality but they are not Truth’!

Oh boy did I open my mouth and speak! Here I was shouting and bouncing around like a shadow boxer, my mind grew fierce with determination  as I declared ‘no weapon formed against me shall prosper’ (Isaiah 54:17) , ‘God has a good plan for my life, plans to prosper me and give me a future and a hope’ (Jeremiah 29:11) and ‘Lord you promised that you will keep me in perfect peace as my mind is stayed on you’ (Isaiah 26:3) the more I declared scripture, that which was overwhelming and vying for my attention dimmed to a dull shadow in the Light of Truth.

Our words carry creative power, Romans 4:17 implores us to ‘call those things that are not as though they already were’. However, when we are exhausted, distracted and not made time to ‘come away’ with Him it’s easy to speak negative and talk about all that is wrong in our lives. Lesson learned… keep my eyes on Him, my mind on His promises, and be ready to spring into action speaking the Word at the onset of a downward spiral. Needless to say I am ready to ‘get back in the ring’ and this time I will stand until the final round’. 😉


2 Comments

Breakthrough is in Testimony

testimony

As I continue to share my testimony of healing from depression, many readers are being inspired, filled with hope and completely healed. I believe God is healing in many ways as we share life’s journey together, in particular when we give testimony of what He has done in our lives.

May I encourage you, as you read these posts be open to His presence. In His presence you may feel you want to laugh, cry, or get up and dance around. Whatever the case, whatever happens be rest assured the Lord is doing a great and mighty work in you. It’s all about Him, He wants you healed & whole more than you want it… I don’t know what His manifest Presence is going to look like for you, but I know my Jesus so be expectant!

Let me remind you of the power of testimony and how by sharing a testimony (or by you reading or hearing a testimony) we are shifting the atmosphere, literally inviting the Father to ‘do it again’!

In Revelation 19:10 we read ‘the testimony of Jesus is the spirit of prophecy’.

the ‘testimony, a spoken or written record of anything God has done, is the spirit of prophecy.

Prophecy either points to the future or it changes an immediate event.

Testimony causes a change in present events! The word ‘testimony’ in Hebrew comes from a root word which means ‘do again’ … so every time a testimony is spoken, it comes with it God’s covenant to repeat the miracle!

The reason we share a testimony is because we want to create the atmosphere for the miracle to be duplicated… as I share my journey on these pages I am not just giving information, I am giving the power for transformation, lives are transformed as faith is elevated through the power of our testimony.

I will testify of His goodness all of my days 🙂 Now you go find some powerful testimonies in areas that you need breakthrough, let faith arise and BE EXPECTANT x


7 Comments

Emotions are Like a Spoiled Child… They Can Mess Up Your Day!

mess_up_my_day-478418

“Emotions are like a spoiled child, indulge them and they’ll control you” – Bob Gass

We all have emotions the key is learning how to manage emotions and not allow them to manage us. Emotions are fickle, my firsthand advice; don’t over indulge your emotions or they will mess up your day!

In particular with depression, as you first begin to ‘opt in’ to doing life again the mood swings can be overwhelming, one moment feeling that depression has lifted and your emotions are high,  ie. you catch yourself laughing or simply smiling, the following moment feeling completely defeated and easily snap at the slightest upset. This unstable behaviour would leave me feeling terrible about myself, it was hard on me as well as everyone around me. Often when I would have a good moment or even a good day, my mind would be consumed with the thought ‘this is too good to be true, it probably won’t last’ on the heels of such thinking was an emotion attached… a deep wave of depression would overwhelm me once again.

A very valuable lesson I have learned, having suffered depression, it is easy to mistake a bad day/flat feeling as being a relapse back into a depressed state.  Looking back on my rollercoaster of emotions, I see clearly now that every moment of my day was based on how I was feeling as opposed to living by faith… I was being controlled by my emotions.

Considering we are body, soul and spirit, if we are to be ‘led by the spirit’ it is most important to make emotional maturity our goal and walk in the spirit as opposed to being led by emotions. Joyce Meyer explains; “We must learn to trust that God knows what He is doing in us. If we feel something in our emotions, that is fine. If we do not feel anything, that is fine too. We must remember that we are in this for the long haul – not just for those times when we feel good, but also for those times when we feel bad or do not feel anything at all…” Yup in this for the long haul, now hush those emotions and keep on the lookout for pinching Angels 😉 x


11 Comments

Sometimes the Most Spiritual Thing You Can Do is Rest

still waters

In my experience with healing from depression, I met many well-meaning Christians that were intent on spiritualising every aspect of my condition… everything was a stronghold or a soul tie, and yet most days I clearly heard the Lord say ‘rest is the most spiritual thing you can do today’.

It is true our battle is not against flesh and blood, there is a spiritual realm in which we must contend for healing (see Ephesians 6:12).

However if we are to contend for healing, I believe it is not to give the enemy so much ‘air time’ that we become paranoid and look for a demon under every rock. Rather I suggest we must embrace what needs to be addressed for spiritual health (prayer, deliverance, repentance etc.) alongside applying some practical steps towards healing our physical bodies.

Recently I read a daily devotion penned by L.B Cowman Streams In The Desert, she writes on the issue of confounding physical weariness with spiritual weakness:

And what did God do with His tired servant? Gave him something good to eat and put him to sleep. Elijah had done splendid work and had run alongside of the chariot in his excitement, and it had been too much for his physical strength, and the reaction had come on and he was depressed. The physical needed to be cared for. What many people want is sleep and the physical ailment attended to. There are grand men and women who get where Elijah was- under a juniper tree! And it comes very soothingly to such to hear the words of the Master: “The journey is too great for thee, and I am going to refresh you.”

Sometimes the most spiritual thing you can do is rest, along with spiritual laws we also must address the natural laws of ‘something good to eat and a good sleep’… today, give yourself permission to rest and have something good to eat 😉 X


12 Comments

Masters of the Masquerade

The most courageous decision I have ever made was the moment when I decided to take off my masks… my social mask, my school-mum mask, my corporate trainer mask, my church mask and every other ‘face’ that was not the real me.

Max Lucado, in his book Six Hours One Friday, describes our desperate desire to disguise our true -self…

“We are masters of the masquerade. Cars are driven to make a statement. Jeans are purchased to portray an image. Accents are acquired to hide a heritage. Names are dropped. Weights are lifted. Yarns are spun. Toys are purchased. Achievements are professed”.

In the depths of despair I had no energy for playing charades,  the blessing of this desperate place was that the real me, the amazing strong woman I was created to be, was finally allowed to come out of hiding… it was literally a case of being strong enough to show my weakness. For most of my life the real me was hidden behind a painted smile, I believe we all spend our time wearing costumed faces. The fear of rejection, fear to be ourselves pervades out thoughts until the real self is forgotten. May I encourage you to remove your masks, silence the fear and step into the freedom to be you. You do ‘you’ perfectly!created to stand out


3 Comments

Hey Cows… I am Back!

 

My little girl with my 'cow friends'

My little girl with my ‘cow friends’

Passion creates freedom regardless of circumstance, for example; when I was in depression my will every morning was to stay in bed and literally curl up to die, however when I made the choice to get passionate about being well again I began to challenge my ‘will to stay in bed’… remaining a  prisoner to my thoughts.

I recall asking myself “what action would I take if I didn’t have these thoughts?’ my answer ‘I’d put on my shoes and get out for a run’ well, revelation hit me like a tonne of bricks! In that moment I had realised regardless of how I was feeling, regardless of my circumstances, there was freedom to be found in the simple act of putting on my running shoes. I determined to challenge my depressed will, dragged myself out of bed, put my joggers on and went for a run.

I cried every step of the way, a mix of emotions swung like a pendulum, sad with grief one moment then overwhelmed with joy the next. I remember running out amongst the hills where we live, I made my way down a dirt track toward a herd of brown cows. Before my season of depression, I would take a daily run on the same route, the cow paddock was my 20 min turnaround point. Often I would stop at the cows and enjoy the simplicity of chewing the cud and just being what they were created to be, no striving, just being. This run was different, it was almost as though I had found a long lost friend, a friend whom I was convinced would never return… I had found me! When I reached the cow paddock I stood and watched for awhile all at once I felt ‘normal’, even a bubble of joy in my spirit, in that moment, I cried out to the cows ‘I am back’!.

There’s something powerful about rejoicing in the midst of problems, by the simple act of doing what previously (before depression) would make me feel good, something in the atmosphere of my depressed state began to shift. Joy is a powerful weapon, despite how you may be feeling start to take steps to partake in things that use to make you feel good.  Once I had decided to make it my passion to get well I continued to take action by choosing to get into life as I knew it. Gradually the depression lifted I began to experience hours, days and eventually weeks of feeling happy. Often times I would be overwhelmed with thoughts of giving up, ‘joy will never be mine it just won’t last’ then the Holy Spirit would bring to mind the story in Luke 17:12 there were ten lepers crying out to Jesus ‘have mercy on us’. “So when He saw them, He said to them, “Go, show yourselves to the priests.” And so it was that as they went, they were cleansed.” Vs 14 (NKJV) Healed as they went!

Belligerent faith must become the very essence of who you are, passionate to be well, eager to fight for complete healing and restoration even when nothing much seems to have changed. Just like the ten lepers, you will be healed as you ‘go’, go out and engage in life, go to read your Bible, go run – go!